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- THE AUTOEXTREMIST
December 17, 2008
The 2008 Autoextremist Year in Review: “The End of the World As We Know It” Edition.
By Peter M. De Lorenzo
Detroit. In a tumultuous year that saw upheaval in our financial institutions, turmoil on Wall Street, the decimation of the housing market, $5.00 per gallon gasoline and the worst economy in seven decades, the U.S. automobile industry - reeling from one national crisis after another and burning through cash at an unprecedented rate - was finally pushed to the brink.
Paralyzed by the credit crisis – or lack of it – until they ran out of options, the Detroit 3 CEOs were forced to go to Washington, D.C., hat-in-hand, seeking a bridge loan to keep them going, whereupon they walked into a shit storm of epic proportions and took body blow after body blow from members of Congress hell-bent on blaming the domestic automobile industry for all of America’s current ills, real or imagined.
And it was an unmitigated disaster.
Eighteen months ago, the words “bankruptcy” and the domestic automobile industry were used in the same sentence by members of the media as a speculative lightning rod to generate controversy and comment. Now, with General Motors and Chrysler just days away from ceasing operations, left by the side of the road by a cabal of southern Senators who placed their own states’ financial interests and the interests of their corporate benefactors - Mercedes-Benz, Toyota, Hyundai, Honda and VW – ahead of the interests of this nation, the unfathomable has happened, and the domestic automobile industry finds itself perched on the edge of oblivion.
To say this has been The Year from Hell is an understatement, but nevertheless, I’m going to retrace our steps, revisiting the highlights – and lowlights – as they unfolded. So without further ado, here we go with the year in quotes - and it all started at Cobo Hall (aka “The Dungeon”) - where we found ourselves back at another North American International Auto Show...(See more highlights from 2008 in “On The Table” – WG)
“BMW unveiled yet another niche vehicle, the X6, which is one of the leading contenders for our 2008 AE Answer to the Question that Absolutely No One is Asking Award. A 5-series with a bit more ground clearance and enough headroom for your traveling troupe of Shitzu circus-dog performers, the X6 "crossover" is a dismal conflagration of design ego and runaway BMW arrogance built with the sole purpose in mind of relieving blindly loyal Bimmerphiles of their wallets. We're still wondering when - and if - BMW will ever get over their sick compulsion to have one of their products in every driveway in America. They're officially beyond tedious - and so is the X6.” (“Rumors of Our Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated. We Actually Did Get Out of Cobo Hall Alive!” 1/13/08)
“Yes, the Hyundai Genesis has potential, but our hype meter is going off because it ain't no BMW or Cadillac CTS, no matter how you slice it.” (1/13/08)
“But at the other end of the spectrum lies our No. 2 candidate for the 2008 AE Answer to the Question that Absolutely No One is Asking Award - none other than the Honda Pilot concept. A thinly-disguised production model, the new Pilot is a mediocre mishmash of every chunky crossover/SUV design cue of the last five years thrown together and topped off by a cheese-grater grille that looks like it was designed by one of their Asimo robots. There is not one thing that suggests this new Pilot came from Honda except for the “H” on the aforementioned joke of a grille. This one pegged the AE wince meter, folks.” (1/13/08)
“Scoring a rare clean sweep of our least desirable manufacturer awards - and with more creases in its bodywork than the table cloths at a dry cleaning convention - the Mercedes-Benz GLK crossover is a disaster of epic proportions and winner of the 2008 Autoextremist Answer to the Question that Absolutely No One is Asking Award (but Best Imitation of a Subaru Masquerading as a Mercedes). We gotta better idea, turn this thing into a boat anchor and drop it in the Detroit River.” (1/13/08)
“Jason Vines' last big promotional brainstorm as Chrysler's PR Chief (he joined Compuware in the same capacity) involved rounding up 120 head of cattle and staging a cattle "drive" right in front of Cobo Hall, complete with cowboys. It was a brilliant stroke that got tremendous media coverage - complete with humping steers - and it was quite the buzz. But was it just another case of the hype outdoing the reality? Pretty much.” (1/13/08)
“GM's reveal of its new Saab 9-4X and Hummer HX concepts began with a tremendously talented juggler who did his thing to a Beatles song. Repeat those words and then imagine how tedious this really was. Now, I have nothing against jugglers per se and I've always loved the Beatles, but together? Yikes. This one went right into the ‘Just Shoot Me’ File. Fortunately, the concepts were great looking, or it would have been a real dud.” (1/13/08)
“For a company that was left like a steaming hulk by the side of the road not that long ago, the transformation of GM has simply been incredible. It's one thing for a company to do cool concepts and a few hot production vehicles to signal that they're back and that they get it, but since Bob Lutz grabbed this organization by the lapels and willed it to greatness, GM is now operating at a level product-wise that is surpassing even its own Glory Days, back when it dominated the auto industry. The magnificent Corvette ZR1 you know about, but what it represents is still mind-boggling. A limited-production supercar that goes 0-60mph in the mid-3-sec. range, tops 200 mph yet is tractable in everyday driving and even delivers outstanding fuel economy on the highway for the performance envelope it operates in is beyond remarkable. And all for around $100,000? I'd say that qualifies as amazing. If this truly is the end of the Big Horsepower era, then this car represents a milestone in American automotive history.” (1/13/08)
“At the 2008 North American International Auto Show, GM Design once again put on a show that overshadowed its competitors. But not only is GM winning the design concept competitions, it's bringing more design-leading production cars to market at this point in time than any other manufacturer, too, with cars like the Cadillac CTS, Chevrolet Malibu, Corvette ZR1, Saturn Aura, etc. Back